called The Quietus. Check it out. I think it's an essay, but they call it a short story.
I'm posting some selected paras below, check out the blog or the book if you like it!
from "It Darkens, Brother" (title stolen from a Jimmy Schuyler poem)
There was a year when my death watching became unbearable; I’m going to say 2007, when I was 22. Gray thunder of oceans reminded me of death. Washington Square with jugglers and Manhattan trees and jumbo pretzels reminded me of death. The activists I lived with, monastic, dumpstering bagels & watching genocide documentaries full-screened on the computer—they especially made me think about dying.
At 22 I worked around the philosophy section of the university library, second floor north east corner, where people go to get nothing done. It’s the meeting place of the Librarian Chess Club, where weary shelvers congregate to drink Crown Royal on the sly, and play a little chess.
While I read a line, “And when you look for a long time into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you,” Charlie my coworker was a table over, stretching his arms to me. “Jimmy, put down the books,” he unstacked some Dixie cups, filled one halfway. “Play some of this chess with us.”