Saturday, September 14, 2013

Horseshit Ideas


I propose idea for a million dollars number five, Joyce's Choices. 

Joyce's Choices, a brand of generic food products that comes with a list of things I wish I could cook or bake would have known now if I'd made wiser choices while living with people who were handy in the kitchen.

Exmpl: Joyce's Choice's brand Molasses would read, "Pretty sure you can make cookies with this brown slime. A guy I used to drink on a roof with must've used molasses  in those sugar cookies he burned every Wednesday, but I was younger then -- too busy throwing shoes on the telephone pole or screaming into my pillow or trying to kill God with my diary."

The previous four ideas worth a million are as follows.


  1. I Wish I Could Cook That: a baking show for the inept, features Joyce's Choices products.
  2. Leftovers: a restaurant that only serves leftovers from other restaurants.  
  3. Emotional Sunrise Tea: a tea that makes you erupt into tears after a single sip, leaves you feeling decent and clean, emotionally cleared up. 
I thought I could remember them all but I cannot.